Over the years, we have all repeatedly heard about the concept of personal development, with different authors offering different understandings of it. Many people refer to it as the key to a happier life, but, after all the content, and ‘watering down’ this profound concept, do we really know why?
Personal development is a concept of living and thinking that goes far beyond the average life that many people consider ‘normal’. To truly understand its importance and reap its benefits, we must understand where it comes from, and – where it’s taking us.
The root and nature of personal development
The concept of personal development has received a lot of attention over the last 20 years, but its origins are far from today. Its root is believed to stem from Aristotle, who, over 2,000 years ago, was one of the first to interpret and discuss the concept. One of his many quotes on personal development says:
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies,
for the hardest victory is over self.”
In this sentence, he illustrates the central problem of personal development.
The most challenging part of growth is to continuously discipline yourself, to use your time, skills, and resources to create the best version of yourself.
In the context of this quote, our desires could be anything that is distancing us from our most developed self, and impacting our life in a negative way. It could be our unhealthy habits, negative thinking, laziness, or anything else.
It seems so obvious that we would want a happier life, better relationships, and more success, but is it ‘natural’ to think like this? Personal development is an advanced form of thinking and living that does not come to us by default. It comes from an elevated state of consciousness about our future, our potential, and our possible impact on the world.
If someone asked you if you want all these things, your answer would probably be – yes. But, the question is: are you willing to give up your addictions, your comfort zone, and your bad habits? The answer to this question will define your future and how quickly you reach your goals.
Even though it doesn’t come to us by default, personal development is considered a human need. This can be observed in Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs.
Personal development concept is directly related to the top three categories of our needs.
- Our need for love and belonging is impacted by developing ourselves and therefore our relationships.
- Our need for self-esteem and recognition is impacted through developing our mindset, relationships, and self-love.
- Our need for self-actualization is the highest need, and it is most directly related to personal development.
Self-actualization is the ultimate goal of personal development. It is the need to become the most authentic and developed version of ourselves, the need to use our potential and live a purposeful life.
You may aim to improve only certain areas of your life, but being on the journey of personal development opens the door to your highest potential in all areas of life. Each of these five categories impacts each other, therefore developing yourself in one way will positively impact your life in general.
The importance of personal development
Life is hard, and ironically, it is harder if we try to make it more comfortable.
That is why personal development is the key to happier life. It elevates our experience and shifts our focus from stagnancy and dealing with the same surface issues over and over, to seeking solutions and putting purpose behind our daily choices.
Life is not meant to be ‘easy’, and what we think of as ‘easy’ is simply ‘unnatural’.
For example, people wish to be rich or famous, while people who are, often say that being rich and famous doesn’t make them happier. Being rich or famous will never make a real, long-term difference in a person’s inner state, but can only make life easier in material matters.
The illusion of wealth
If we refer back to Maslow’s hierarchy, we can understand that people who do not have their primary needs fully satisfied might think that money would bring value to all of their needs. The truth is – wealth can only impact the first two levels, which are the physical needs.
The top three level needs, which are most responsible for our true satisfaction with life, can only be supported with financial means, but not really improved.
The satisfaction that comes from self-actualization, self-love, or connections, can only be achieved by improving our inner state, and no external factor like money, can have a real impact. Even though money can seem to have an impact on status and therefore, self-esteem, it is an illusion.
How a person feels about themselves is entirely up to internal factors. That is why, in this world, we have a lot of people with a very high status, that keep seeking infinite material wealth, in order to satisfy their low self-esteem needs. Money can only temporarily feed the ego, but never truly satisfy us.
Not living our life through personal development, leads to increasing dissatisfaction over the course of life, which then transfers to everyone around us.
This dissatisfaction is then being ‘cured’ by increasingly indulging in small but negative pleasures of life, such as alcohol, tobacco, excessive eating, gossip, or other addictions, which leads to further mental and physical health issues. In this situation, being wealthy can pose a much greater risk for a person, since they have everything easily available.
When it comes to your decision on personal development, the main question is:
Is it going to be a sacrifice of your time and effort, to be the best version of yourself, or a sacrifice of your potential, health, and happiness, for the ignorance of thinking you don’t need to improve?
Maybe some people are lucky to be raised with a growth mentality, to be taught how to deal with their emotions and challenges, how to be successful, and happy, and how to maintain meaningful relationships. Maybe some people had the blessing of being developed by other humans, to be taught when it was the easiest to teach them, but the reality is:
We have to re-mold ourselves into the people we want to be. The more mistakes were made previously, the more molding it will take, but, the more skilled at reshaping, we will become.
What it takes to grow
The most important factor in our personal development journey is our willingness to grow. Besides this, there are a few key aspects we must follow in order to make growth an integral part of our lives.
1. Allow growth to happen
Very often, the only person who is preventing or slowing down our growth is simply ourselves. Subconsciously, we sabotage our growth because we are afraid of two things. Either we believe we will fail to achieve our goals, so our ego refuses to start in order to avoid getting hurt, or we are afraid of the change that success might bring.
Both of these fears are normal, but it is important to understand them and recognize when they are standing in our way to success.
Our brain is naturally scared of the unknown, and it tries to protect itself by procrastinating, or by convincing us that we cannot do something, all in order to avoid the ‘threat’ of change.
Looking at the bigger picture, there are more things to be afraid of in the comfort zone, than in the unknown. If we always stay in our comfort zone and never strive for more than what simply comes to us, we risk a life of indifference, boredom, and dissatisfaction.
To face this problem we must regularly do things that make us feel uncomfortable, force ourselves to work on our dreams and goals even when we don’t feel like it, and program our minds to be excited about change rather than afraid of it.
2. Create space for it and strive to improve your environment
Life is hard no matter who you are, and although we might have very different struggles, how we perceive them is what ultimately defines our experience. For this reason, we could say that the inner experience determines whether or not we have ‘space’ for personal development.
You could have all your primary and even secondary needs satisfied, but maybe you have a strong ego that stands in your way of creating space for complete personal development. On the other hand, you might live in poverty or in a negative environment that does not support your growth, but you have an inner desire to improve your situation and you refuse to give into your circumstances. This inner desire is what will drive your growth.
Our circumstances are very different, but personal development is there to improve them. All we have to do is start creating a little by little space for it and try to overcome our challenges one at a time.
To illustrate this solution, we can remember the story of Buddha, who after seeing the immense suffering in the village close to his palace, discovered that meditation is a technique to overcome the obstacles of your environment and your inner turmoil. This, as we know, was the beginning of his journey as one of the greatest spiritual leaders of our world.
3. Set clear goals
Goals are a fundamental part of any growth process. To put this in perspective:
It means nothing to know where you want to go if you don’t know how you will get there.
When it comes to setting our goals, it is important to balance rational expectations with dreams and potential. In other words, it is important to stay within the rational limits of our physical abilities, and set goals that are realistic in order to not set ourselves up for disappointment. But, it is also important to consider the inner desires of our soul, and what we believe we can achieve with effort.
4. Stay consistent
Staying consistent in our personal development practices is essential to achieving continuous and meaningful growth. Growth takes time, and it would be an irrational goal for you to think you will see results very soon. Development often means creating new beliefs, and beliefs are not formed easily. However, remember to keep your eyes on the prize, and remember you CAN be anyone you want to be. This person may be years away from now, but they will be worth every struggle you go through.
5. Reflect on your progress and seek feedback
Seeking feedback and reflecting on progress are also very important parts of our development journey. Reflecting on our progress, whether in the form of talking to ourselves or journaling, can provide amazing insights. It is important to stay kind to yourself, and not expect that growth will be linear or easy. We will face challenges even years into our journey, because as we said – life is not meant to be easy, and neither is personal development.
Feedback from others can also provide valuable insights that we might not see on our own. However, it is important to consider who we ask for advice and criticism. As it is important we are kind to ourselves when reflecting on our journey, it is even more important to choose kind people to help us reflect, because our minds often give more value to other people’s opinions than ours, especially at the beginning of our journey.
Conclusion
Personal development is the development and betterment of our inner world, our mind, body, and soul, which then reflects the improvement of your external changes, and makes our total human experience much more valuable, our life fulfilling, and us more resilient.
If we embrace growth as a mindset, we can rise above our limitations and open the doors to our full potential. Personal development is not just key to a happier life, but the very essence of living fully and authentically as our best self.
